There’s a moment in every woman’s life when she realizes she’s been living for the applause of people who don’t even know her story… and ignoring the quiet whisper of the God who created her. Choosing authenticity is the only way to honor God’s call and break from the prison of people’s opinions.
For me, that moment came on an ordinary Tuesday — no lightning bolt, no dramatic meltdown — just a heavy, holy clarity that the life I was performing wasn’t the life I was created for.
I had spent years curating the “right” responses, the “safe” personality, the “pleasant and agreeable” version of myself that made everyone else feel comfortable. But I wasn’t trying to be fake, I was trying to be accepted. And in trying to be accepted, I kept abandoning myself.
What a high price to pay for approval.
The Breakdown That Opened the Door to Breakthrough
One day, after yet another situation where I swallowed my truth to keep the peace, I sat in my room doom scrolling to get my mind off things and I saw a post that said “when you keep quiet to keep the peace, you are just adding fuel to the fire that is raging within” and suddenly my eyes opened. and I asked myself, “Why am I always the one shrinking?”
It was like the Holy Spirit pushed that question back at me:
“Why are you performing for a stage I never called you to?”
That question unlocked something deep.
I realized I wasn’t tired of people, I was tired of pretending.
I had become so used to reading the room, adjusting myself, smoothing my edges, dimming my light, and over-explaining my worth that I didn’t even know what whole felt like anymore. That was me confusing silence with peace and compliance with humility. But God calls us to truth, not performance.
The Day I Chose Authenticity
I wish I could say my transformation was instant. It wasn’t.
It started with one simple — terrifying — decision:
I am no longer living for human approval. I’m living from my God-given worth.
That meant:
- Saying “no” without explaining my entire life story.
- Allowing my voice to matter in the room.
- Being honest even if my honesty made people uncomfortable.
- Setting boundaries and not apologizing for them.
- Choosing spiritual health over social validation.
And the surprising thing?
The world didn’t collapse.
The people who valued the performed version of me simply faded away.
But the relationships that remained? Pure. Strengthening. Aligned.
Authenticity has a way of cleansing your circle.
What Choosing Authenticity Feels Like Now
Living whole doesn’t mean you become rude, loud, or harsh. It means you become anchored — secure, steady, and led by God rather than fear.
It feels like:
- Waking up without the pressure to impress anyone.
- Showing up as the woman God designed — not the one culture demands.
- Loving people without losing yourself.
- Hearing God’s voice louder than public opinion.
Choosing authenticity is freedom because it’s permission.
Permission to be the healed, honest, Spirit-led version of you.
You Don’t Need to Perform Anymore
If you’re reading this and you feel that tension — that quiet exhaustion from always being the “good one,” the “accommodating one,” the “strong one,” the “peacekeeper” — let me tell you this with all the boldness in my heart:
- You deserve to live authentically
- You deserve to live whole.
- You deserve to live honest.
- You deserve to live free.
People-pleasing is just the camouflage we wear when we don’t believe our true self is enough. But God didn’t create a camouflage version of you. He created you — with purpose, voice, identity, and worth that doesn’t need validation to be real.
The day you stop performing is the day your real life begins.
CALL TO ACTION
If this spoke to you, pause for a moment and ask God:
“Where am I performing instead of living?”
Then take one brave step today — a boundary, a truth, a “no,” an honest conversation — that moves you closer to the woman God designed you to be.
And if you need support on your journey to living authentically and loving yourself wholly, grab a copy of my e-book; The Beautiful You; Redefining Beauty According to God’s Terms. And don’t forget to share this post with someone who needs this reminder too. You’re not alone — and your wholeness journey matters.
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