The Real Naija Wife Experience: Perpetrating the American-Wife stereotype.

Is there an American wife stereotype? Let’s just be honest… there is a way of the African woman. She is strong, she is a multi-tasker, she is industrious, she is smart and has so many talents and abilities. I hail the African woman. And as a wife, she is a mega super star. She manages the home, cooking, cleaning and taking car of the kids. Some do all of this and still work a full-time job. African woman are no doubt the hardest working women I’ve met in my entire life. So there’s a bit of an expectation when you marry an African man. They were raised by these strong African women and want the same kind of woman as their wife.

On the other hand, there’s a narrative that American women are not submissive, they don’t cook and ultimately they don’t share the same values. So where do I stand in all this? Do I fill the Naija-wife or the American-Wife stereotype?

Well, I can’t deny I was born and raised in North America. It was me, my mom and my grandmother until I turned 18 years old. We were like the three musketeers of strong and independent black women in America. They were both married before yet divorced. We valued freedom and enjoying our lives. My grandmother liked to work. She was always working but she also made many good investments that are serving her now in her retirement. My mom liked to have fun. She liked to go out on the weekends and travel to as many places as she could.

When Obi and I discussed all these things, I told him that ultimately, I want to have a family. I don’t want to get old and find myself alone. And I’m ready to let go of that independent woman and fulfill that wifely role as the spirit of God directs me. You see, I believe in the transformative power of the word of God. I can be anything and I can do anything. But then when I got here and I saw the amount of work that these African wives are expected to do…ummm… yeah… no, I can’t do all that! LOL!! You have to see the vlog I did about it.

So I had to take it up into the realm of the spirit. You know, we can do all these things in the flesh and get no results but if we do more in the spirit and less in the flesh, we can get results beyond our imagination. The scripture I studied was Proverbs 14:1. It says, “A wise woman builds her home but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands.” For me, that scripture was a breath of fresh air. Now, the concern isn’t whether I fulfill the stereotypical role of the wife in cooking and cleaning, it is now whether this act is building my home or breaking it and I find peace in that. Also, I notice that Obi is more at peace and that is what matters most.

Am I a stereotypical American-wife or African-wife? I like to think that I am a Christian-wife!

id like to hear from you. What are the other stereotypes of African or American wives?