When I said “I do” to my Nigerian husband, I thought I was just marrying him. Little did I know, I was also marrying his mother’s high expectations, his father’s love for food, his friends’’ endless opinions, and an entire culture that would challenge, frustrate, and ultimately transform me in ways I never expected. If you’re considering (or already navigating) a cross-cultural marriage especially with a Nigerian twist here’s what nobody tells you.
1. You Will Learn to Speak Naija… Even If You Don’t want to
Before living in Nigeria, my vocabulary was limited to “Pele” and “Na wa o.” Now? I can throw around phrases like:
- “Abeg!”
- “Biko!”
- “Na you sabi” (My fav)
- “I can’t come and kill myself.”
And let’s not forget the Nigerian eye roll and head nod, the subtle upward jerk that means yes, I hear you, I don’t believe you but I’ll let you talk.
2. Your Cooking or Lack of, Will Be Judged
From the day I landed until today, there is always a comment about me needing to learn to cook Nigerian food, or why don’t I cook everyday or that my “place” is in the kitchen. I kindly respond with “Don’t you worry… we are eating well.”
I’ll never forget the time I went to go see a new house and the real estate agent said, “let me show you your favorite place…the kitchen” Seriously?!?
3. Everything That is Normal to You is NOT Normal to Him
The truth is, marrying a different culture constantly reminds you that “normal” isn’t universal. You’ll find yourself re-learning how to communicate, how to show respect, even how to love—on terms you didn’t grow up with. It’s humbling. It’s stretching. And sometimes it’s exhausting. But if you let it, it’s also incredibly beautiful.
The key? Stay curious, not critical. Learn their normal without losing yours. There’s room for both—if you’re both willing to adjust.
4. Family Is Not Just Immediate… It’s Everybody
In Canada, “family” means parents, siblings, maybe a cousin. In Nigeria?
- Your husband’s uncle’s neighbor’s sister is now “Aunty” and expects respect.
- Random relatives will call just to ask, “When are you giving us a baby?”
- Someone will always need “just small support” (translation: financial assistance).
Personal space? Non-existent. Privacy? What’s that?
5. You Will Develop a Love-Hate Relationship with African Time
Invitation says 2 PM; Event starts at 5 PM. Program starts at 9; Facilitators walks in at 10:30. Flight at 7 AM; Your husband will leave the house at 6:45
As a Canadian raised on punctuality, this nearly gave me an aneurysm. How can people show up 2 hours late to an appointment and it is accepted, in fact, it’s expected and celebrated? But now, I’m learning to also “take it easy”, because “I can’t come and kill myself”
6.You Will Be Adopted (and Corrected) by Nigerian Women
Nigerian aunties don’t care if you’re foreign, once you marry into the family, you’re theirs. They will:
- Tell you how to dress (“Cover your shoulders, this is not Canada”… “But Ma, I’m having a hot flash”).
- Teach you how to tie gele (after laughing at your first attempt).
- Advise you on marriage (Especially the single ones).
7. You’ll Realize Love Is Loud, Bold, and Unapologetic
Yes, there are challenges, cultural clashes, misunderstandings, moments when you just want to scream. But there’s also:
- The warmth of a family that treats you like their own.
- The joy of dancing at 2 AM at an Owambe.
- The pride in blending two worlds and creating something beautifully unique.
Marrying into a different culture isn’t just about adjusting to new food or learning new slang, it’s about expanding your heart, your patience, and your worldview.
So to all my fellow cross-cultural couples: Keep laughing, keep learning, and always keep extra pepper in your purse. Naija no dey carry last! 🇳🇬❤️🇨🇦
What’s your experience with cross-cultural marriage? Drop your stories (or survival tips) in the comments
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Interesting. I intend getting married to an Australian