When I first said “I do” to my Nigerian husband, I thought I understood love. After all, I’d read the books, prayed the prayers, and watched enough messages from Pastor Kingsley and Pastor Mildred Okonkwo. I really thought I had it figured out. But real-life Naija marriage? My sister, that one na real school of its own. The lessons I’ve learned as a naija wife are can only be learned on the job!
From Lagos traffic to jollof rice wars, to prayer meetings and rehearsals that test your stamina — marriage here has been a blend of culture, faith, and plenty of lessons I didn’t see coming. Here are seven of the biggest ones God has been teaching me.
1. Love is Not Just a Feeling — It’s a Daily Decision
In Naija, “love” is more than sweet words; it’s action. It’s when your spouse sacrifices their last bottle of cold malt for you after a long day. It’s choosing to forgive quickly when the heat (and generator noise) makes tempers rise.
2. Patience is a Spiritual Workout
Between Nigerian wedding guest lists (which seem to multiply on their own) and those “I’m almost there” texts that mean 30 minutes more, patience isn’t optional. God has used marriage to grow this fruit in me — even when I didn’t ask for it.
3. Prayer is Your Lifeline
A Naija wife learns quickly: prayer is not just for Sunday service. It’s for the moments you need wisdom on how to respond with grace, protection for your home, and strength to love when you’re running on empty.
4. Family is a Community Sport
Marrying into a Nigerian family means you’re also marrying the aunties, uncles, cousins, and even that “family friend” who’s basically part of the household. Love them well. They can be your biggest cheerleaders and prayer warriors.
5. Laughter is Holy Medicine
You’ll need humor for the days when the generator refuses to start or NEPA takes light right in the middle of your favorite show. Laugh together — it’s cheaper than therapy and just as healing.
6. Respect Goes Both Ways
In Nigerian culture, respect is huge — from greetings to tone of voice. But true respect in marriage is mutual. It’s listening well, valuing each other’s opinions, and honoring each other in private and in public.
7. God is the Glue
Culture is beautiful, romance is sweet, but without God at the center, it can all fall apart. He’s the One who teaches you to love deeply, serve joyfully, and forgive endlessly.
Final Thought
Naija marriage is not for the faint-hearted, but with prayer, patience, and a whole lot of love, it’s a beautiful adventure. Whether you’re newlywed or seasoned, keep God at the center and your marriage will thrive — even through Lagos traffic.
If you enjoyed this peek into my Naija Wife Diaries, you’ll love my book The Beautiful You: Redefining Beauty According to God’s Terms. It’s all about walking confidently in your God-given worth in every season of life. Grab your copy here -> https://selar.com/m/chevaunnestewart
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