There was a version of me that said yes when she meant no.
A version that stayed quiet to keep the peace.
A version that over-explained, over-gave, and over-extended herself just to be accepted.
And for a long time, I thought that version was holy.
I thought shrinking was humility.
I thought endurance without boundaries was love.
I thought self-abandonment was sacrifice.
But God, in His mercy, started removing me from rooms where that version of me was required to survive.
When God Changes You, Not Everyone Benefits
Here’s the uncomfortable truth:
Not everyone claps when God heals you.
Some people preferred the old me—the one who was always available, always accommodating, always absorbing the weight so others wouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable.
But that version of me was tired.
She was resentful.
She was disconnected from herself and slowly confusing burnout with obedience.
God didn’t harden my heart.
He strengthened my spine.
And when that happened, some relationships couldn’t come with me.
Boundaries Aren’t Rebellion — They’re Alignment
I used to think boundaries meant I wasn’t loving enough.
Now I understand they mean I finally am—loving myself the way God loves me.
Jesus withdrew.
Jesus said no.
Jesus disappointed people who wanted access without submission.
So when I started saying, “I can’t do that,”
“That doesn’t align with me,”
“I need rest,”
it wasn’t rebellion.
It was alignment.
God was protecting me from becoming bitter…
and protecting others from a version of me that would eventually break.
Growth Makes the Unhealed Uncomfortable
The healed version of you is confronting to people who benefit from your silence.
When you no longer tolerate disrespect,
when you stop rescuing,
when you stop explaining your worth—
it forces others to face what they’ve been avoiding.
And not everyone wants to do that work.
So they may call you “changed.”
They may say you’re “too much.”
They may miss the old you.
But the truth is:
they miss who you were before you knew better.
I’m Grateful for Who I’m Becoming
I’m no longer interested in being liked at the expense of my peace.
I’m no longer asking permission to take up space in the life God gave me.
I’m no longer shrinking to make room for people who refuse to grow.
The version of me God is shaping now?
She rests.
She discerns.
She obeys God, not guilt.
And if that version makes some people uncomfortable…
maybe that’s part of the protection too.
Final Reflection
Sometimes God isn’t just protecting you from others.
He’s protecting others from the version of you that would’ve stayed too long, given too much, and lost herself in the process.
And that’s grace—for everyone involved.
CTA:
If this resonated, I’d love to know—have you ever outgrown a version of yourself that others preferred?
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